From a friend and it made me laugh...
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Why is never a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it
isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
My Liver is Broke...
Houston H3 30th Analversary Campout this past weekend at the Flying I Ranch, the site of TXIH 08. Such a cool place and once again, H4 outdid themselves. Many, Many Thanks to Mark Ivey for having us again. Every time I hang out with most of that hash, I laugh so hard my ribs hurt.
I managed to get through 2 hash runs without a)getting killed by the bull, and 2) impaling myself on any jesus thorns like I did last year. The run on Sunday I spent riding around topless on Roll On's 4x4 gator thing with Baby G and Easy Rider, then on the back of the 4 wheeler with GrindSlut. I managed to not only to get the Gator stuck in a mudhole but lose my shirt and my flip flops.
Happily, cuz it was my Fuck Yeah one, Grind found my shirt and made me drink for it. I shoveled horse shit barefooted cuz they made us muck stalls, I brought Kimchi On-On Ale to the Koustin Hash and had way too many shot luges and a whole lot of St Arnold's beer. McPisser fell face first on a log near the fire Friday night and messed up his eye pretty good, then finished off the weekend by egging and pissing on his own car, in the Koustin tradition.
One of the biggest nekkid hashes I've ever been on, surprisingly 95% of the camp joined in. Klosi7 fhreek brought glow in the dark paint and that crap just doesn't come off! Thank God Pull the Plug did his magical shower trick - those things rock!
Xena once again passed out in front of the fire not just once, but 3 times in 2 nights. One of the funniest things I heard all weekend was him walking up to the tent asking Skippy "Hey, would you help me get this cock off my face?"
H4 was thrilled to meet Skippy The Legend... Although Klosi7 fhreek says she wants to be the new Legend. And for the record, Klosi7 is the worst Chaperone ever.
Got to hang out with some of my favorite hashers - Klosi7, Platterpuss, McP, Baby G, 8" Crack, TAF, She Mussel Bitch, Keezer, HogStraddler. And I got to spend some time with some new peeps as well who will make their way on to the fav list - Easy Rider, Mama's Boy, Krusty Kreme, Grind Slut, CumStain, Santa Claus - met lots of new people and hope I get to see them again soon.
Hog and I found a winery on the way there Friday, so we decided it would be appropriate to drink the wine we bought on the way home Sunday.
Eventually, Pork Me Now isn't going to let Hog come out and play with me amymore. I always send him home to' up!
I managed to get through 2 hash runs without a)getting killed by the bull, and 2) impaling myself on any jesus thorns like I did last year. The run on Sunday I spent riding around topless on Roll On's 4x4 gator thing with Baby G and Easy Rider, then on the back of the 4 wheeler with GrindSlut. I managed to not only to get the Gator stuck in a mudhole but lose my shirt and my flip flops.
Happily, cuz it was my Fuck Yeah one, Grind found my shirt and made me drink for it. I shoveled horse shit barefooted cuz they made us muck stalls, I brought Kimchi On-On Ale to the Koustin Hash and had way too many shot luges and a whole lot of St Arnold's beer. McPisser fell face first on a log near the fire Friday night and messed up his eye pretty good, then finished off the weekend by egging and pissing on his own car, in the Koustin tradition.
One of the biggest nekkid hashes I've ever been on, surprisingly 95% of the camp joined in. Klosi7 fhreek brought glow in the dark paint and that crap just doesn't come off! Thank God Pull the Plug did his magical shower trick - those things rock!
Xena once again passed out in front of the fire not just once, but 3 times in 2 nights. One of the funniest things I heard all weekend was him walking up to the tent asking Skippy "Hey, would you help me get this cock off my face?"
H4 was thrilled to meet Skippy The Legend... Although Klosi7 fhreek says she wants to be the new Legend. And for the record, Klosi7 is the worst Chaperone ever.
Got to hang out with some of my favorite hashers - Klosi7, Platterpuss, McP, Baby G, 8" Crack, TAF, She Mussel Bitch, Keezer, HogStraddler. And I got to spend some time with some new peeps as well who will make their way on to the fav list - Easy Rider, Mama's Boy, Krusty Kreme, Grind Slut, CumStain, Santa Claus - met lots of new people and hope I get to see them again soon.
Hog and I found a winery on the way there Friday, so we decided it would be appropriate to drink the wine we bought on the way home Sunday.
Eventually, Pork Me Now isn't going to let Hog come out and play with me amymore. I always send him home to' up!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Pretty in Pink...
Spotted by a friend in her work parking lot today in Plano.
Seriously, WHO would drive that?!? Plano Barbie? Big Gay Ken? A soccer mommie that carries a little rat dog in a basket and a big chip on her shoulder?
Maybe if it and the gas was free. I don't know...
Seriously, WHO would drive that?!? Plano Barbie? Big Gay Ken? A soccer mommie that carries a little rat dog in a basket and a big chip on her shoulder?
Maybe if it and the gas was free. I don't know...
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