Nacheaux's Ass

Please don't take the baby to the Liquor store!

2011-11-11T17:11:00.001-06:00

The Rev Horton Heat hits The Black Sheep in Colorado Springs on Jan 27th, Kiddies. It's a must-see...

His Revness will be preceeded by these Fellers.

Whoooooooo hoooooooooo!

How very Kimchi....

2011-11-10T16:06:00.002-06:00

Speaking of Beer!

2011-11-03T19:33:00.000-05:00

It's International Stout Day! Go drink some!!

Hydro-baby

2011-11-03T18:27:00.002-05:00

So I'm doing my first 'gear' test for UpaDowna. My gear is a Growler. Uh-huh. A Growler.

Specifically, a 64 oz Wide Mouth Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Growler made by Hydro Flask.

Hydro Flask claims it'll keep your cold stuff cold for 24 hours and the hot stuff hot for 12 hours. So far, we've tested it with beer twice. For the measuring types among us, it's 5ish oz short of what a standard glass growler will hold. It kept our beer cold for about 6 hours, then started a warming trend. It never got room temp, (at least before we drank it) but it didn't stay the original temp either.

Our biggest beef so far is the carbonation issue. It starts loosing carbonation after 5-6 hours, but I don't think it's meant to be a longer-term storage vessel. Even with a glass growler, you start losing carbonation once you open it. Who keeps an open growler around anyway?

It'll keep it cold until you get up the mountain, get the tent up and the fire going and isn't that all you really need?

Currently testing it with hot water to gauge the hot chocolate/soup holding factor. Similar results so far; it originally had water too hot to leave my fingers in, and almost 6 hours later, it's still pretty warm, but not what I'd call hot. As with the cold, guessing it'll be good long enough for your peeps finish to their race, or you get it up the mountain to the campsite.

Specs on this bad boy can be seen here. $50 bucks a pop, plus shipping. Hmmmmm...

Review for UpaDowna pending before I return said vessel to Bunny.

Eddyline does the CanCan

2011-11-01T22:50:00.001-05:00

Snagged from Eddyline's FB... Sounds like it's time for a Road Trip!

We delivered our first round of cans to the retail stores today!!! Thanks to all these great stores for supporting us. Buena Vista Stores: Little Daisy's, Rally's, La Valle's, High Peaks Liquor (JV). Salida: Party Spirits, Arlie Dale's Jug Liquors, Cellar Wine and Spirits, 4-Alarm Liquor and Roxy's Bottle Shop.

And the wheels go 'round

2011-11-01T15:56:00.004-05:00

Rode my bike to Cocktail Class at the new place today - probably a whopping 4 mile trip. Oh well, that's why I transferred it. That and the chick in the office at the Recovery Systems place was really giving me the red ass.

[Translation] Red Ass. That's coon ass for really irritating me.

Seems I just traded one irritant for another, though. The guy teaching the class at the new place looks and sounds like an old-school Baptist preacher. I'm pretty sure he's gonna test my patience, as all religious types ultimately do.

Gack. It's only 4 more weeks. It won't kill me, right?

It'll just make me wanna drink...

Run, Fat Ass

2011-10-31T17:48:00.002-05:00

3ish miles in Palmer Park, on the baby-mama stroller loop. Kee-rist. All my shit jiggles when I jog. Awesome.

Absolutely beautiful day. I hope the rest of you got outside. It's a Doozie!

Trail Rant...

2010-12-06T14:35:00.002-06:00

Oldie from a Dallas Biker Forum. Freaking funny.

I know this is a rant but whatever, I put it in the rant section also. Every once in a while I take an easy ride on the Minuteman bike path. By the time I am done I swear never again. A month later I want to go to the fells and repeat the same mistake again. I know the bike path is for everyone but HOLY shit there are some really annoying people on it.
1) Two-A-Breasters: There is a reason the bike path has a yellow line. You ass wipes ride (or walk) side by side and hog the whole thing. Get with the program! The only good thing about you are your screams of fright as I blow by you without warning.
2) Queer-Eye-For-The-Biker-Guy: I realize that it is possible to buy an entire suit made from Spandex. It is also possible to beat off with a cheese grater, that doesn’t necessarily make it a good idea. If you were you going fast enough to make wind resistance an issue I might be more understanding but you are usually granny-gearing it as you swerve around trying to adjust your $200 sunglasses. Spend less time buying expensive crap and more time riding.
3) Slow-And-Lowers: Do you know that you can adjust your bike seat so that you don’t look like a bear riding a mini-bike at the circus? Take the 30 goddamn seconds to raise the freakin’ seat. Your back will thank you and you’ll be able to break 12 miles per hour with out blowing out a knee cap.
4) Sky-Bar-Enders: Bar ends ARE NOT for getting your hand six inches above the handle bars. They should not be pointing straight up in the goddamn air! If you don’t know exactly why you would want bar ends then YOU DON’T NEED THEM. They are not a convenient resting place for your chubby hands. They are for getting your weight forward during a STEEP TECHNICAL CLIMB. I hope you impale yourself on them after you hit a tree because you couldn’t reach the brake lever in time.
5) Richie-Dick: Yah you, the guy with the $3000 full suspension big hit bike poking along the bike trail. The biggest hit you have ever taken was when you got butt raped by the guy who sold you that bike. YOU SUCK! You are the same dumbass who buys a Hummer so you can gun it when you roll over some construction on Mass Ave. You buy a sweet bike and then ride it on freakin’ pavement. I know you have never hit the trail cause’ there is NO DIRT on the thing. Not a speck. Plus you look like a *****. Either take it off pavement or give it to someone who will.
6) On-Your-Late: Ok there is absolutely nothing wrong with a well timed “On your left” but here is the thing. The whole point of saying it is to warn the rider in front of you that you will soon pass them. Not that you are already next to them on their left side! If your bike is next to mine, IT’S TOO FREAKIN LATE. If we were going to collide we would have. You screaming “On your left” in my ear at that point will only increase the chances of me making an error and crashing into you. Just pass, you re-tread.
7) The HFS (Huge ****ing Stroller): HOLY shit! Are you running a cloning lab? If your stroller needs a brake it’s too damn big. Take your kids to the playground and play some tag or something. Jesus, there are bikes flying by at 30 miles per hour. If one hits you, your kid will ****ing die. I know you think the world will stop for you and your precious little angels but get a clue. Three words; “Severe Head Trauma”.
8) Woof-Woof-Splat: Keep your dog on a leash, you ass. First of all it’s the ****ING LAW. Second of all your dog is dumb. So dumb in fact, that it will run in front of my bike to eat some piece of shit left by another jackass dog walker. I WILL hit your dog. I will not get killed or hurt somebody else trying to swerve around Fido. I almost died last year trying to avoid an unleashed dog and will not repeat the mistake. I love dogs but I like my unbroken bones better. Take responsibility for your pet.
9) Roller Bladers: You all suck ass, flailing your arms wildly as you coast along on your roller skates. YES, they are roller skates and thus, quite lame. I don’t care if the wheels are “inline”. You jackasses suck so hard I have to break you down into sub-categories of suck.
9.A) Newbi-Tard: You people are ridiculous. You are all decked out in helmets and pads. You mostly look terrified as your usually fat ass careens down the very slight grade of the trail. Here is a hint. If you don’t know how to STOP then it probably isn’t safe for you or anyone else for you to be on the path. I swear one of you is gonna fall in front of me and get an imprint of my front sprocket on your fat thighs.
9.B) Pack Of Newbi-Tards: See above but clustered together, literally hanging onto each other for protection. You are worse than the individuals. You take up the WHOLE TRAIL so nobody can pass. Heed the dirty looks you get and go find a freaking parking lot. I hope to kick one of you as I ride by and watch as you all fall over in a flabby whimpering heap.
9.C) Hot Chicks With Skimpy Outfits: The only reason you suck is because you are fully clothed and make me slow down to check you out. Other than that you rock.
9.D) Super Sweet Doooods: You guys are sooo ****ing gay it’s not even funny. You think you are awesome as you take up the whole trail gliding back and forth in super sweet slow motion. I dream of you flying off the trail and getting wrapped around a tree.
People Of Mention:
Having been on the path more than a few times I have come to recognize a select few people who require special attention.
The kid who shot me with a plastic BB gun: I saw you hiding behind the bush well before you shot me. You were lucky I was going fast when the yellow BB hit my chest and thus had to slow down a little before leaping off my bike and chasing you as far as your back yard. You were scared shitless which is good because you could kill someone doing that shit. If I ever see you again you won’t be so lucky.
The 35 people who rode by me pretending I didn’t exist as I asked for a spare tube or a patch kit after blowing both of my spare tubes: You all suck ass. A very nice lady eventually stopped and gave me a patch. I know I was covered in mud but come on people. I always stop and ask people if they need help, common freaking courtesy.
The Decked Out Intense Midget Woman: OK you are not actually a midget but you do look very small. Or perhaps you look small in comparison to the mounds of crap attached to your mountain bike which is too big for you and I am sure has never left the pavement. Not only do you fall into categories 2, 4, 5 and 6. You were also one of the 35 jerks who didn’t help me. In fact you looked me in the eye and didn’t even slow down. I KNOW you have every sort of tool and tube imaginable packed away in your various slings and packs yet you rode by as if I were invisible. You look like a goddamn scuba diver with your neoprene outfit and mirrors sticking off of every available part of your bike. I see you on Mass Ave. from time to time in the morning on my way to work. You look retarded. And why do you hang a huge plastic bag from your bar ends?!?!?! It looks like your gear makes you waterproof to the depth of at least 15 meters. What are the bags doing? Worst of all YOU ARE SLOW!!!!! God you are slow. Jettison some of your useless shit and maybe I won’t blow by you 4 times in one ride.
Tubby Guy On The Tiny Road Bike: I’ve only seen you a few times. Once I passed you through an intersection not knowing that this would enrage you so much that you would be forced to almost hit me as you sprinted past me sneering. I must say I was impressed, you hauled ass dude. I’m guessing you didn’t keep it up very long tho. If I hadn’t been on the tail end of a five hour ride I would have raced.
Gay Guys On The Tandem Bike: I am assuming that you are gay simply because I don’t know any straight guys who would go in 50/50 on a bright yellow tandem Cannondale and then ride it regularly in spandex. Forgive me if I am wrong. I haven’t seen you guys in a year or so. You were my arch rivals. Holy crap you were fast. One time I kept up with you (on the downhill) for a few minutes and almost died. I swear you would slow down until I got close and then take off again. I salute you, you bright yellow bastards. Oh and good call making the one eyed guy ride in back.
People Who Rock: Yes there are some people who rock! I’m not a total *******.
Hard core road bikers: Holy crap you guys (and gals) are fast as hell, keep it up.
Mountain Unicyclers: I’ve seen you in the fells and there is only one word for you BADASS!!!!!!!!
Messengers/Anyone on a fixed gear with no brakes: You know it but I’ll say it anyway. Elite.
Trials Riders: I wish I had skills like that.
Little Kids with Big Helmets: You rock, two thumbs up!
See you on the Minuteman!!!!

Winter Solstice MOPP

2010-12-06T10:46:00.003-06:00

Tuesday December 21st, 6:30pm
Red Rock Lounge
Colorado and 31st - ish

Bring Your Own Bottle. Head lamp, warm clothes.

Actual Solstice time is 11:38pm.

Bonus! Full Moon with a Lunar Eclipse that we should be able to see after midnight, if you can hang.

Notes: No Hash cash, No Circle. We might be out a while.

One down, Nine to go.

2010-12-03T18:32:00.002-06:00

Beer #1 down in the OC Winter Tour; Old Chicago's Black Diamond Chocolate Porter. Pretty good brew.

Some tasty ones on this tour, so I'll suck it up and do it. 'Cuz I don't have many t-shirts. Here's the line-up:

Old Chicago Black Diamond Chocolate Porter
Samuel Adams Winter Lager
Chimay Trappist Ale
Stella Artois Belgian Lager
Blue Moon Winter Abbey Ale
Boulder Never Summer Ale
New Belgium 2o Below Winter Ale
Odell Isolation Ale
Bristol Winter Warlock Oatmeal Stout
Samuel Smith Winter Welcome Ale
Breckenridge Christmas Ale
Rocky Mountain Brewery Chai Porter

Excited to try RMB's Chai Porter. I sure could do without the Stella and the Blue Moon, though.

Kudos...

2010-12-03T18:14:00.002-06:00

to Brewers Republic for having 7 different colorado brewery offerings on their 10 taps. For a while I was only seeing Rocky Mountain and Bristol. Both make good brews, but it's sure good to see a wider variety available.

Cheers!

4,125 Hail Marys and 832 Our Fathers

2010-11-30T12:46:00.005-06:00

Forgive me, Incline. It's been 4 weeks since my last Ascent. School, a little work here and there, but primarily the accumulating pounds of fat on my ass and sheer laziness have kept me from a weekly visit to your lovely grade for a while.

Beautiful blue skies - you don't see that color in Texas. The temp is hovering around the freezing mark, but so far the sun is helping me out. The sun, and as usual, I am overdressed. Have to lose a shirt and my hat at the No Trespassing sign.

My quads are already griping at me. Geez, I'm really gonna have to hump it to keep katie in sight at New Orleans.

My lungs burn. My gin-drinking mentor would tell me to suck it up and move on, so I do. I crawl slowly toward the false summit, stopping occasionally to marvel at the landscape. I am very, very, fortunate to live here.

Usually when I'm on the Incline, my brain kinda jumps around to all the things bugging me that I'm procrastinating about. Same when I run, which is why I usually run alone. Gives me an opportunity to get some perspective. I do not have that opportunity today. No internal musings or half-formed decisions at my disposal.

False summit, finally. At least I don't have to worry about the beer getting hot today. Yes, I'm carrying PBRs. Shut it - that's how brownie trained me. Feel better now, but not moving any faster.

The top! Quick pic then off down the trail. My hands are freezing, even though I have gloves on. Good jog to the bottom. I take the trail that follows the creek down to Ruxton, my personal preference. The frozen geysers and over spray in the creek make me smile. I step between the gate and post at Ruxton and turn for a last look at the trail and the creek.

I think I heard the evergreens whisper, "See you next week, slacker".

Don't talk with your mouth full...

2010-11-30T12:42:00.002-06:00

I love The Smoking Gun... constant offerings of 'tasty' tidbits like this one.

And don't forget to wipe your chin, dearies.

Gobble, gasp, gobble...

2010-11-29T23:01:00.003-06:00

Turkey Day Tradition here in the Springs. Hike the Incline, drink your PBR at the top, then motor down the trail for potluck dinner and Plastic Gin at the Royale Tavern.

No worries - our fearless and oft-inebriated leader is right behind us, having run from home.

MountainHigh

2010-11-17T10:34:00.002-06:00

Got my biz cards yesterday for MountainHigh Sports Massage.... Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Stop by the Free Demo Day and Expo at CityROCK Climbing Gym on Sat, Nov 20th starting at noon and say hi!

21 North Nevada
Colorado Springs, CO

Summer's Eve, Anyone?

2010-11-16T14:10:00.002-06:00

If this doesn't qualify as assinine, I don't know what will. A West Virginia women has been jailed after threatening 2 men (one of which was her ex-husband) for not munching her bearded clam.

Read On...

Ewww.

Laughs from Purple Lloyd #1

2010-01-25T15:16:00.001-06:00

When asked about his sex life at 80+, he responded "Well, I'm too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar."

Winter Slog #2

2010-01-25T15:02:00.006-06:00

There's slow, there's tortoise sex slow, and then there's me.

Did PPRR WInter Series #2 this past Saturday. I wish I could say 'ran', but my 1:26 says otherwise. Ugh.

Here I am, climbing into 14th place overall for my age group...

14 outta 15. Mm Hmmm.

Eh Toi!!

2010-01-25T14:33:00.001-06:00

FYI Hashtards...

What: Masquerade Birthday Bash
When: Friday, Feb 12th
Where: Somewhere in Manitou - details pending
Why: Why the Hell not??

Meet Purple Lloyd...

2010-01-11T14:15:00.004-06:00

Manitou Springs icon Purple Lloyd makes his internet debut. See pic here.

Here is Lloyd showing us on his uber-fancy phone

and our fav Kinfolks bartender, Jessica, with it up on the big screen.

I'm afraid it's the Big House for you, Fruitcake!

2010-01-08T21:00:00.003-06:00

Headed to Winter Series run #1 tomorrow in Cheyenne Mountain State Park, then back to Manitou to watch the last half of a Yearly Event there, The Great Fruitcake Toss.

This year's event is being held at the High School track, not Memorial Park. Git yer rules here.

I hear the FSM may make an appearance next year. Believe he was recently spotted in the North Pole, spreading Pastafarian religion to the elves, and just couldn't make it back.

Have YOU been touched by his noodley appendage?

2010-01-07T16:56:00.001-06:00

Will someone tell me why in $*^%#!#%^ my phone won't spell 'blog'????

Retarded.

SuperDooperUberFast...

2010-01-05T18:49:00.004-06:00

Uh, not.

In what will become a yearly tradition, I got my sorry butt out of bed on New Year's Day to go run the Rescue Run at Palmer Park. I sucked and did the short distance, and was duly chastised by both Yeti and Randi. He did shut up when he got his slice of the coveted Bacon Explosion...

Took me 35:01 and I took another verbal whippin' from jt for taking pics along the route. I was supposed to be 'racing'. ~Sigh~

No camera on the PPRR Winter Series races starting this Saturday. Promise.

Rock Canyon pics

2009-12-07T10:50:00.005-06:00

$100
brownie

More pics here. Hashers present: $100, brownie, BLOS, All Nighter, Unfuckable, Licker Outlet, Weasel, Midnite Stroker, Clit, Juicy Pearl, Knees Up, Chinwhacker, Eat Me, Jimmy Bucket, Sweaty, Skip and several more I know I'm forgetting.

More Rub-a-Dub-Dub

2009-12-07T10:16:00.003-06:00

Dang it! Dude ruined it for the rest of us!

Some kid in Texas was going door to door passing himself off as a massage school student and giving free massages. Seems a woman took him up on it and then he groped her. Read more here and don't skip the police report. hahahahahaaaaaa!

Rock Canyon Half Marathon

2009-12-07T09:40:00.002-06:00

Went to Pueblo this past Saturday with brownie, katie and BLOS to run the half marathon. There were a lot of hashers there as well. The few that didn't run had a beer stop for us right before mile 13. Awesomeness!

The beer stop, NOT the run. The run sucked. Well...I sucked. The course wasn't that bad; no real hills, although there was a good bit of concrete and I guess I'm never gonna stop whining about having to run on that kind of surface. Out and back course, some dirt trail/road, some road, some concrete hike and bike trail, along the river, past the zoo, and through a portion of the canyon. Very pretty in the canyon portions and along the river, but I felt so crappy that it was really hard for me to pay attention to it.

There was never a time during the race that I felt good. Sluggish, lethargic, even my arms just felt heavy. Never got my breathing under control, stomach felt weird and about mile 9 mile my right calf started bitching at me, something I noticed in Tulsa as well. Blegh.

AND It was fricking cold. That didn't keep me from enjoying that PBR cup when I got to the beer stop, although I thought I was gonna throw it up before I finally jogged across the finish line. 2:27.... weeeeak. And I lost the bet I had with brownie; if I ran a sub 2:00 he had to eat a whole sweet potato. Since I failed miserably, I have to craft this gastronomic monstrosity.

I say I did it for the people; there was a whole lot more interest in the bacon log than seeing wanker eat a vegetable. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

I hope katie has renter's insurance; he could very well destroy her toilet when that gut bomb hits bottom.

Manitoid!

2009-12-07T09:34:00.002-06:00

I'm almost OFFICIAL. Did my thing for a Colorado DL on Friday - should have it, along with the obligatory crappy picture, within a couple of weeks.

Already moved the last of my junk from Dallas and its all in the garage. It looks like Tijuana exploded in there and then a family of Boudreaux's moved in. Aaaiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!

Last step - get rid of those Tejas plates.

2009-12-06T22:58:00.002-06:00

wow - this blog really does suck...

Rub a Dub Dub

2009-10-28T11:51:00.002-05:00

Last week I started Massage therapy school, so you peeps better be prepared to suffer through me practicing, starting next week, ya hear?

It'll take me a year to get certified, then I hafta start charging ya.

Oh yeah... I are a official Manitard now. Up the hill behind the Arcade and Royal Tavern and Wankers new Red Mountain Bar. Come visit. The back door is usually open and if you talk nice to the Wanker he may share his plastic Gin with ya.

White menses CAN dance...

2009-10-08T21:26:00.001-05:00

Well, at least they can before they get all growed up... Go Bubba, Go Bubba!

Take a look...

Things that make you go Hmmm...

2009-08-28T10:18:00.004-05:00

This sign is on the little church that shares a parkign lot with Taco Star...

Isn't it bad enough to have to sit through church without it being 'Non-Charismatic'? That David Hines Pastor dude just puts it right out there, huh?

Other activities will include corn holing...

2009-08-28T10:09:00.002-05:00

What?!?! I don't know what 'corn holing' is, but it'll be happening this Saturday at Foam Fest in Colorado Springs at Antlers Park.

Details here

Rumor has it there will a couple of fellers in dresses and the dragon may make an appearance as well. Festivities start at 1:00 pm.

"How much money do I have?

2009-08-25T22:42:00.002-05:00

I need to buy a new guitar".

Overheard my 10 year old niece muttering this to herself while she was hammering away at Slow Ride on Guitar Hero...

Pavement sucks... but there's beer at the end.

2009-08-25T21:26:00.003-05:00

Running...uh, jogging AWAY from a Brewery seems kinda retarded, especially one like Trinity Brewing Company, but that's exactly what I did Monday night. I met jt over at Trinity for a scouting run for the upcoming Monday night gigs there.

I got to meet the owner of Trinity, Todd, who ran with us. Actually, they ran and I struggled along behind. Pretty cool little route, especially for being on pavement. Admittedly, I whined about the pavement initially and then the rain, but wanker was kind enough to point out that I hadn't run at all on Sunday. Ok, I'll shut up.

Good 'jog' and I got to try the new Farmhouse #97, Saisson afterwards. Yummy stuff!

Brownie, yer doin' a heckuva job...

2009-08-25T20:58:00.003-05:00

Congrats to jt for finishing the Leadville 100 miler run last weekend in less than 25 hours, earning himself a big ass belt buckle. Although, I'm not sure how he'll ever wear it, since I think I've seen him in pants that had belts loops like twice?

You can read his race report here. They're always a good read.

Scenery was fantastic, but the company was even better - spent the whole weekend tooling around with Katie and seeing Leadville and surrounding area. Visited the Manhatten Bar and the Silver Dollar, where we were treated to a truly effed up mimosa, but at least the guy comped us for it. Leadville is a cool place - I want to re-visit!

Got to see some Dallas NTTR peeps that were pacing a Denver runner, which was cool.

Couple pics to follow soon...

Incline #3

2009-07-31T18:48:00.002-05:00

took me 58 minutes today. To celebrate my blazing speed both up and down said Incline, I stole a PBR from Wankers frig.

He says it'll cost me Bloody Mary's for him and $100 before the Mud Run down in Fountain tomorrow am.

He's like one of those Ace Cash Express places, ain't he?? LOTSO interest...

Mile High, Baby

2009-07-28T11:08:00.008-05:00

I spent last weekend at the Mile High Music Festival with Wanker, Happy Sock, $100 and visiting Prickly Bush from Albany - Awesome time!

Musical highlights included Galactic, Tool, a solo John Butler and a great G Love set. This has to be one of the coolest pictures I ever took.

We managed to smuggle in a ridiculous amount of booze, taped to our thighs (thanks Katie!) and completely defiled the photo booth that was there with KBCO. I think we visited it at least 6 times over the 2 days. I promise you, it'll never be the same.

Wanker spent so much time that weekend surrounded by estrogen that he finished growing his va ja ja (we all knew he had one). Which explains why this is as close as he is ever gonna get to the Mile High Club...

Thankfully, the sand finally fell out of it before the concert on Sunday morning and he stepped up and claimed those tampons he was carrying around in his backpack all weekend.
And this is what happens when the inexperienced try to use the hover method in the porta potties.

We visited the coolest bar EVER on Sunday morning - Sancho's Broken Arrow. I love this place! The bartenders actually locked us girls in and fed us shots for a couple of hours before the Wanker made it back from DIA with $100.

Another cool pic. This mural is in the men's restroom..

Stay tuned for more info on a Benefit at Broken Arrow - Sunday Aug 23rd.

My Mini-Me

2009-07-28T10:39:00.007-05:00

I've been spending what time I could on the weekends at the Ren Faire in Larkspur and took my niece this past weekend for her first time.

I'll be taking time out this Saturday to stumble around with the Kimchi celebrating the CKH3 7th Anniversary. Yahoooooo!

Now go update your crappy blog...

2009-07-28T10:02:00.003-05:00

yeah, yeah, yeah...

Apparently it takes 4 weeks to consider ones self to be 'from Colorado'. I say this because on my last road trip to Dallas a couple of weeks ago, I caught myself calling a driver in front of me a "stupid Texas asshole". Hahahaaaaaa! If you're gonna drive in the FAST lane, you better go faster than the speed limit or I'm gonna put my truck up your arse.

I wouldn't have been so irritated with him if he had obvious problems, like this guy...

If you look closely, that' a lawn mower he has chairs stacked on in the back. This looks worse than my vehicle when I came out here. "Come and listen to a story 'bout man named Jed" ran through my head.

Suffice to say, I'm glad I'm here. It was 108 when I hit Wichita Falls on my way south. No wonder they have camels there - they feel right at home.

Long time no blog...

2009-07-07T22:57:00.000-05:00

Seriously, it cuts into the leisure time I have so much of since January.

Hey - I live in Colorado now! yee haw! Currently living in Piggus Dickus's basement and looking for my own digs in Manitou. Until then I'm working on assimilating all of the Pigs possessions...

Since I've gotten here, I've run a Kimchi hash, a DIM hash, Ren Faire in larkspur 3 times, moved one gazillion boxes, visited the dump in Co Spgs twice, went camping at the Sand Dunes, visited an alligator farm, where I paid $12.50 to see tortoise porn (there'll be You Tube action on that later), left an offering at the UFO watchtower, had Moonlight Pizza (yum), saw Blues Traveler at Red Rocks, drank a 24oz PBR at Knob Hill, drank Boone's farm at 8:00 am scouting trail last Friday and played Cranium with Net's kid on my lap.

I can now find my way to at least 5 liquor stores - You can buy liquor here on Sunday, baby.... no wonder I like it.

So tonight I'm off to my first full moon hash at Red Rocks Canyon - a beautiful place I will most likely visit often.

So, life is pretty good :)

Why, Why, Why?

2009-05-19T09:39:00.000-05:00

From a friend and it made me laugh...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Why is never a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it
isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you.

My Liver is Broke...

2009-05-19T09:04:00.003-05:00

Houston H3 30th Analversary Campout this past weekend at the Flying I Ranch, the site of TXIH 08. Such a cool place and once again, H4 outdid themselves. Many, Many Thanks to Mark Ivey for having us again. Every time I hang out with most of that hash, I laugh so hard my ribs hurt.

I managed to get through 2 hash runs without a)getting killed by the bull, and 2) impaling myself on any jesus thorns like I did last year. The run on Sunday I spent riding around topless on Roll On's 4x4 gator thing with Baby G and Easy Rider, then on the back of the 4 wheeler with GrindSlut. I managed to not only to get the Gator stuck in a mudhole but lose my shirt and my flip flops.

Happily, cuz it was my Fuck Yeah one, Grind found my shirt and made me drink for it. I shoveled horse shit barefooted cuz they made us muck stalls, I brought Kimchi On-On Ale to the Koustin Hash and had way too many shot luges and a whole lot of St Arnold's beer. McPisser fell face first on a log near the fire Friday night and messed up his eye pretty good, then finished off the weekend by egging and pissing on his own car, in the Koustin tradition.

One of the biggest nekkid hashes I've ever been on, surprisingly 95% of the camp joined in. Klosi7 fhreek brought glow in the dark paint and that crap just doesn't come off! Thank God Pull the Plug did his magical shower trick - those things rock!

Xena once again passed out in front of the fire not just once, but 3 times in 2 nights. One of the funniest things I heard all weekend was him walking up to the tent asking Skippy "Hey, would you help me get this cock off my face?"

H4 was thrilled to meet Skippy The Legend... Although Klosi7 fhreek says she wants to be the new Legend. And for the record, Klosi7 is the worst Chaperone ever.

Got to hang out with some of my favorite hashers - Klosi7, Platterpuss, McP, Baby G, 8" Crack, TAF, She Mussel Bitch, Keezer, HogStraddler. And I got to spend some time with some new peeps as well who will make their way on to the fav list - Easy Rider, Mama's Boy, Krusty Kreme, Grind Slut, CumStain, Santa Claus - met lots of new people and hope I get to see them again soon.

Hog and I found a winery on the way there Friday, so we decided it would be appropriate to drink the wine we bought on the way home Sunday.

Eventually, Pork Me Now isn't going to let Hog come out and play with me amymore. I always send him home to' up!

Pretty in Pink...

2009-05-06T20:19:00.003-05:00

Spotted by a friend in her work parking lot today in Plano.

Seriously, WHO would drive that?!? Plano Barbie? Big Gay Ken? A soccer mommie that carries a little rat dog in a basket and a big chip on her shoulder?

Maybe if it and the gas was free. I don't know...

The Apocolypse is upon us...

2009-04-29T18:08:00.003-05:00

And Texas is gonna go first.

Governor Rick Perry has now declared the entire State of Texas a disaster after 16 confirmed cases of Swine Flu.

Five area schools are closed due to 'outbreaks'. All sport competitions are suspended until May 11th as well.

Hmph. I pretty much thought it was a disaster before the stoopid Swine Flu got here.

Additionally, The Grim Reaper in the form of Thunderstorms, Hail and Tornadoes is bearing down on us from the West and cleaning house. Take cover, don't look out the windows, don't leave your home, blah, blah, blah.

I just heard the weatherman on Fox 4 say "Turn around, Don't drown". For reals?!

FSM, help me suffer the idiots that surround me. Actually, a really good bitch slap with one of those noodley appendages on some of these 'tards down here would really make me feel better.

Aargh!

2009-04-29T09:00:00.002-05:00

Am I the only person in the world who hates Regis and Kelly? Seriously, both of those people give me the red ass so bad.

Think its time for Franti and Spearhead...

We Don't serve walk-up customers...

2009-04-21T19:26:00.003-05:00

WHy in the hell not???

I forgot that Thursday night after Joe Bonamassa in CO Springs, we parked Katie's car at her house and then wandered back over to the Red RIver Lounge (?) place and drank some more.
Then we decided that we were hungry. We walked to McDonalds; closed except for the drive thru. Thru which they would not serve us. It's freaking snowing by now - enough to start to cover the ground.

Across the street to Wendy's. Same thing. No luck in the drive thru again, and inside is closed. We walk back home, get Katie's car and drive one half block BACK to McDonalds to go through the drive thru.

Now tell me, how the hell does that make any sense??!?! hahahahaaaaaaaaa

Kiss me, I'm Kimchee

2009-04-21T19:07:00.002-05:00

I'm still updating from a month ago. Geez... This unemployed crapola is taking up too much of my internet time.

We hurried home form The Bishop Castle and Salida in time to make the 150th Kimchee Hash, which was designated a Green Dress Run in honor of St Patricks Day.

We decided to ride the bus from Katie's house downtown. JT laughed at me for wearing a granny dress then pulling a pocket knife out of my pack to cut a thread off it. Shut it - yo! We managed to make this homeless looking dude on the bus believe that Katie was my kid. Same guy offered to hook jt up with some weed. hahahahaaa Lotsa brain cells there.

We met the rest of the hash at the first bar and I met and re-met lotsa Kimchees - Yea! Life is good! Following flour got us to the top of an parking garage where We sucked Bob's Boobs. Oooh. Now that just sounds wrong. May be, but he had boone's farm in 'em and It Was Good!

I don't even know the name of the bar where we ended, but we had cheese curds and lots of PBR - yum! There was lots of haberdashery to be disposed of and that took some doing and a lot of delegating and alpha type female goings-on, the we had the circle in the back.

A few of us - jt, katie, me, C4 - decide we were going to walk to the after bar where Grant Sabin was playing. This kid kicks ass - he's still in high school but has this awesome old blues guy voice and he can play the guitar damn good. A few of the other hashers decided we were taking our lives in our hands to walk and a 'heated discussion' ensued. We walked, they drove. They passed us and honked; I mooned.

Rockin' good show! Katie and I got our pics taken with Grant. One of the hashers almost got his car towed - we took up a quickie fund and they managed to get the guy to take it off the truck.

We got a ride home happily, so we didnt have to bus or walk it. Thank you!

Next day I got up and headed North for Ft Collins to see my family. Pretty tame after hanging with the Kimchee and being in Salida, but my liver needed the rest.

Day 4 - My Special Treat

2009-04-07T12:36:00.002-05:00

I need coffee... Bob has to go back to CS early to lay Kimchi trail for Green dress run later in the day. We say our goodbye's and go find coffee.

Side note - While I'm dressing, I make the decision to rid myself of a toenail on my left foot. It was coming off anyway from the 50 miler and now it's swollen and pretty much pointing straight up and catching n everything. To do this requires some minor surgery and once i start jacking with it, it spews blood all over my foot. Gross. That done - I make my way to jt and katie looking for a band aid. They want to see and I manage to creep out the nurse. How does that work? Doesn't she see gross shit every day? hahahahahaaaaaaa

They tell me we have a special treat on the way home. We find coffee and hit the road. After about an hour, we drive up to this crazy lookin' stone castle thing that has a ginormous dragon head sticking out of the front of it. Meet Bishop Castle. This is a pretty current pic - it has both of the turret's finished and we could see people climbing around in them when we were there. A little more history here.

Freakin' cool! We all go climbing around and Katie and actually make up to one level under the Ball you see on the far turret. Far enough for me. I'm kinda freaking out climbing around in this thing. Weird. I do manage to go part way around on the outside walkway - which is iron mesh - and you can see straight through it. Totally giving me the heebie jeebies and I really have to struggle not to just freeze up and grab the rail and stand there like an idiot.

The guy is actually starting to dig a moat around the place. Apparently he has some ongoing issues with the local gov so there's big giant anti-"the Man" signs painted on boards sitting around every where. Well worth the drive to see.

We head off back to Manitou - got a hash to get to. Pass by the Biggest Rocking Chair in the World and The Gigantic Beetle - it'll change your life forever!

Salida, And then...

2009-04-07T11:23:00.002-05:00

Updates - because jt is threatening to do something retarded like refuse to let me live in Manitou if I don't update my blog.

St Patrick's Day weekend. Landed in Denver on Thu, got my car and hit Manitou just in time to meet brownie for lunch and beers at Trinity Brewing Company. I spent the rest of the afternoon tooling around in Manitou prospecting living quarters.

Met $100 at her house and we headed to some divey bar across the road from her house for beers until jt could join us, then on to downtown Colorado Springs for a quickie martini. I tried some Knob Creek thing named the KnobGobbler or some crazy shit like that. I should have stuck to the Gin...

Joe Bonamassa in a symphony hall. Hmmm. Still - show rocked - he always does, but I miss him in his jeans standing 6 feet in front of me and my beers on the stage so I can dance.

Friday $100 and I shopped for a green dress for the Kimchi 150th among other things until we could convince jt to accompany us to Salida. Moonlight pizza here we come! Beers after in a couple of the bars in Salida before we all crashed.

Saturday - Marathon Day! My first mountain marathon! Actually, it's my 2nd marathon ever and the first one was on total dirt trail up at Lake Texoma. This one started later than what I'm used to and it was kinda weird leaving the hotel in actual daylight.

Run starts just outside downtown Salida and takes off up a dirt road. We actually jump on a little 2ish mile section of asphalt, which makes me curse jt. I HATE running on the road. We regain the dirt road and wind upwards - Every turn you see more mountain range and it's all snow covered. By the time we get to the turn-around in Turret they are 3/4th of the horizon. Awesome Sight!

Katie is kicking my ass up teh hill, but at least I can see her most of the time. We leave the last aid station on the way up and make Turret together. She pulls ahead again on the way down, but wait for me at the trail cut-off. The last 9 miles is on single track mtb trail - MUCH more to my taste. Now I'm actually having fun. I was getting pretty tired, a combination of altitude maybe? and 4 weeks off my first 50 miler, but once we hit the trail I felt much better.

The views are stupendous and I have to stop and look on occasion. The weather was perfect. Sun shining, great temps - I'm sweating but not a lot and there's frozen mud and ice on the trail. ha! I think that rocks.

We wind our way down and hit the dirt road again about 1.5 miles out. Now you get to see the finish and town and it looks freaking forever far away. Katie and I are pretty much over it now and she notes how different this is from last year where she was trudging through snow and sleet. Thank god.

6 hours and 17 minutes after we started, jt is handing us a PBR 10 feet from the finish line and we cross with them in hand. The volunteers - mostly an older crowd - think this is hilarious and one older woman comments to me - Dang that beer smells so good! Funny - I could tell she wanted one but said no when I offered.

WHooo hoooo! I sat my happy ass in the Arkansas (?) river for about 15 minutes. I make my way back up the hill and BOB is here! Coooool! He came from Denver to pub crawl with us later.

Moonlight pizza again! Yum! I love that place. Shower, change, drink, and it's off to the pub crawl. There's 7-8 of us and we make the rounds of the bars in Salida. Well, 5 of them anyway. Salida is such a great little town.

When we get to the last bar, Victoria Tavern, there's a really good band playing. The keyboard guy is from Leftover Salmon. Our numbers are down to 5ish and finish the evening dancing and still drinking. Finally everybody but jt is ready to crash so we leave him there and go back to the hotel.

Katie and I are discussing going back after him when he shows up at the hotel. In the po-po car. Apparently they saw him running along on the way to the hotel and gave him a ride. Retard, I swear.

Fantastic day! I said they'd have to really twist my arm next year because of the dirt road part, but apparently I'm too stoopid to retain how painful I thought that was at the time and I'm pretty sure I'll be there next year.

2009-04-07T11:20:00.001-05:00

I think it's freaking funny that I did more blogging when I was working than I do now when I'm unemployed...

What the hell do I do all day?!

And now for something completely different...

2009-03-11T15:20:00.002-05:00

From a very dear old friend. Thank you so much for sharing, King Robert, and much love to you.

Hammered

Emotions hammer my heart like a maul
Wondering who I could call
Tears aren’t so bad when they leak from your eye
I just hate it when snot comes nigh

How can you love someone so well that they wanna leave?
What do you do when the thought of food makes ya heave?
Nothing really matters when your life is in tatters
It’s kinda like a baseball team with no batters

Did ya ever just wonder how the hell you survive?
With all life’s problems Id rather have hives
Could ya just throw me a bone here and leave me alone
I think sometimes that love is a horrid thing to atone

When love flows and wraps you in mirth
You can see with incredible worth
Watch what happens when it’s squeezed from within
That’s when the cataracts really begin

I know I know you shouldn’t write from the pit of hell
But what else can you do when you’re cowering in your shell
If the sun is shining I don’t wanna know
Just keep telling me life doesn’t blow

I know I know you’re just trying to help
What did you say this vitamin was something with kelp?
Its ok just hold my hand.
And let me know that you sorta understand.

Hella Cool!

2009-03-11T14:18:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow at the ass-crack of dawn I get on a plane for sunny Denver CO (as it happens, it's a hellavu warmer there than it is here today), then I'm southbound to Manitou to meet the rest of the Manitards for Happy Hour.

Wanker is doing the planning. Hope I don't die.

Friday brownie, $100 and yours truly head for Salida, AFTER I get my green chile fix at Purple Castle... Yea! Moonlight Pizza!

Marathon Saturday, where the halfway point is actually in a ghost town, then MOPP hash pub crawl in downtown Salida. Yea! Moonlight Pizza!

Sunday - Kimchi 150th hash and Green Dress Run in Old Colorado Springs.

Monday - MORE Purple Castle then headed North to Fort Fun to see my family for a couple of days.

Better go pack the good liver...

Frequent is good.

2009-03-04T23:29:00.004-06:00

If I ever entertained thoughts of attending ANY church, other than the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it would have to offer some advantages that appeal to me, such as this...

Soooo, how frequent is frequent? Everyday? Each class? Hmmm. I may have to reconsider this.

Have you been touched by his noodley appendage?

Goin' straight to HELL.

2009-03-02T19:24:00.002-06:00

It's that time, isn't it? The whole Lent give up something you like so you suffer time.

How 'bout I give up work? ~snicker~

Since I AM a Heathen, I spent the latter half of my Ash Wednesday riding bitch on the back of HogStraddlers Triumph Thunderbird. A little impromptu Sinners Pub Crawl, you could say. Visited the new Londoner in Uptown, which rocks. One of those new but feels really old places because the owners put a lot of effort into finding some cool old wood doors, columns and furniture to put in it. Dark corners and nooks everywhere, fat comfy chairs and a formal dining table upstairs that seats 10 and totally didn't look out of place. Cool patio and upstairs porch and some good beers on tap, including a local Franconia that's not half bad. It's no Trinity Soul, but for Texas brew it was pretty tasty.

On to the Gingerman, where Hogs previous employers just happened to be having a craft brew class. I wonder if he planned that? More good beers. I had Abita's new Jockamo IPA. Pretty good, especially if you're a hop head. Tasted the New Belgium Mighty Arrow that just hit taps down here.

On down to Amsterdam, where we once again see some ex-coworkers for Hog. This is one of my favorite bars. And not just because its one of the few bars in Dallas where you can find PBR on tap. It usually has a really good selection of craft brew on tap and a good bottle selection. One of the few, again, that has Lindemann's Kreik on tap. Sweetart on acid, man. Yum. And a full bar that includes some really good Bourbons and some top-notch Irish as well. Kick ass patio and every Monday night about 10:30, when he's not touring, Shelley Caroll, Duke Ellington's sax man, leads a jazz jam on it. If the weather is crappy they come inside. Some kick ass musicians rotate in and out. If you show up with an instrument, they'll let you step up. Awesome to watch.

One more stop at a new place on Lower Greenville, Zymology. It's billing itself as a Gastro Pub. The first time I was in a "Gastro Pub" about a year ago, I hated it. Crawling with pretentious, snot-headed yuppies. I think my adverse reaction was location-related as well. I hate that part of town - West Village area- because it's filled with that same people that were all crammed into that bar. Puh-leeeze. Makes me want to park my truck on somebody's stoopid little Mini-Cooper. I'm a serious dive bar girl, which goes to war on occasion with my foodie tendencies. I think Zymology will provide a happy medium though. Good craft beers on tap, and the food was awesome - we had some appetizers that the owner comp'd because he knew Hog and their chef kicks some ass! I think I may take the girlz back down there this Wed night and invade the place.

Time to go home - Hog has a softball game and I have dinner plans with an old friend.

It's good to be a Sinner. ;)

Telluride Bound...

2009-03-02T19:15:00.003-06:00

Got my tickets to the Telluride Blues and Brews Festival today!

Of all places, in a Texas DOT Safety Rest Area between Austin and Wacko. Go figure.

Won't my Mom be proud

2009-02-18T15:13:00.003-06:00

when she sees my finisher pic from Rocky Raccoon. Take a look.

Rocky Raccoon Endurance Trail Run

2009-02-16T21:06:00.016-06:00

Saturday, one week ago, I went to Huntsville State Park to test myself with a 50Mile trail run.

I say test, as its my first 50 Mile and because I have been pretty lazy lately and not training. Even for the Bandera 50K, which is why it took me over 8 hours to finish it. This will come back to haunt me. Or more specifically, it will haunt my feet, knees and quads.

My friend Nancy Hogan approached me back in October about the Rocky 50 Mile. She wanted to complete one before she was 50, which is in April. I thought about it briefly, then said ‘Sure, I’ll go.’ If I can’t hack the distance this time, I’ll still have 2 years to get my own 50 before 50. Or as jt tells me, then I'll know how bad I'll bonk.

I rode down with Nancy and another NTTR member Jennifer. We hit the hotels first, then headed out to the park to pick up packets and hear the pre-race meeting. I’ve been on this trail before, as have both of these ladies, but we are all first timers at this distance, and the race director, Joe Prusaitis is pretty entertaining to listen to. There are some changes and new sections to tell us about.

The weather is great – Flip flops and a long sleeve, followed by a sweatshirt when the breeze off the lake got cool after dark.

Speaking of sweatshirts, because I registered late, I don’t get one that says Rocky Raccoon Endurance Run 50 Mile. Bummer. Although, I said I wasn’t doing it to get the sweatshirt, but boy it would have been nice to have. I spend the time during dinner trying to locate the colored duct tape we are supposed to label our drop bags with. Green for Dogwood, which is the start/finish area, and Blue for Dam Road, which is on the farthest point of the course and only 100 milers are allowed drop bags there.

Dam Road is being manned as always by NTTR, my home trail running club. There will be lots of people we know, which makes me happy!

Race packets in hand, we all pile back in the car and I have the girls drop me at my hotel. Jerry drove up from Austin, but got delayed by work and traffic and its 8:30 pm before he arrives. We trek across the back yard of the hotel and eat at Margaritas, which by the appearance of the parking lot, is THE place to be. And yes, I had one. Doesn't everyone drink the night before they run ultras!?

I spent my Jerry waiting time getting my race stuff ready. Clothes, which shorts, which shirt? Shoes, which socks (Geez. You have the same pair in black and in green, Red. Pick one, fer cryin’ out loud.)

Drop bag. I’ve only ever had to pack 2 drop bags since I started trail running and I’m just not quite sure what to put in the thing? A friend tells me whatever I DON'T have is what I will need. An extra pair of shoes, the other pair of socks, short-sleeved shirt, headlamp and flashlight, snack baggies of extra food.

Another bag for after. I know as soon as it gets dark, it will cool off and once I stop moving, my body temp drops quickly, more so when I’m tired. Slip-on shoes, convertible pants, and sweatshirt.

I don’t sleep well. It feels like I wake up constantly and when the alarm goes off, it just plain irritates me. Ugh. 5am is such an unfriendly hour.

Off we go. We are in the park in less than 15 minutes, arriving right after 6am and see the 100 milers on the trail, headlamps bobbing along between glow sticks. It looks so strange and I wonder what people who just happen along on a sight like that think. You really don’t hear the runners, other than an occasional cough. It’s as if they have made an unspoken agreement to be quiet today and they move along like ghosts. No conversation, muffled footfalls, only a string of lights and a line of shadows, and then all you see is the occasional glow stick. Bizarre.

It’s cool and humid, more so down by the lake. We find all our people, take pictures, laugh and joke and wait. There are 5 first timers for the 50-mile in our group and 2 more 1st time 100 milers we will be cheering on.

One of them, Carol, is being supported by a crew consisting of 5 of her lady friends, several of which are good friends of mine as well. They are VERY happy when I produce Jerry and let them know he’ll be hanging around all day. Well, at least he wont be bored.

The sun comes up while we are milling around and making noise. Unnoticed, sadly. Suddenly, it’s light. Time to go! We count, the gun goes off and away we go. It’s a balmy 60 degrees out.

50 Milers do three 16.62-mile loops. This area is piney woods and fairly flat. I said fairly. Don’t be thinking there aren’t any hills, because there are. They just aren’t Bandera Hills. And they got bigger and bigger every time I saw them.

It is a beautiful park. All the trail portions are single-track mountain bike trails, my favorite thing to run on. A good many of these are littered with pine roots. Lots of them. Some of the larger ones are so gnarly and intertwined they look like big snakes across the trail. Makes for treacherous footing. The trails wind in and out of the pine trees and along the lake. In places where the ground is soft and won't support a dirt trail; the park had built boardwalks. Pretty cool and there are a lot more of them than the last time I was on this trail. There is a section of jeep road as well, to get to Dam road aid station and then to get out.

The 5k to the first aid station passes quickly, on both the first 2 loops. It’s the rootiest section on the whole course, followed closely by a section on the back of the Dam road loop. The whole first loop itself passes by a lot faster than I thought it would. The weather is great, its already mid-60’s and the NTTR people at Dam road (which I see twice on each of the 3 loops) are all in rare form, laughing and joking. Fred Thompson and Lynn Ballard are hugging all the girls and Char and Tia and Paula Billman are yelling encouragement from under the tent.

I meet Mike on this loop, who is from Virginia and there are about 10 people from his running club here as well. We chat about random stuff, races, travel, pets, and life in general. On the jeep road section, we are joined by Tammy. Her shirt says so in giant sharpie letters. She is dressed entirely in pink, including her gators and has a ponytail holder that looks like a lei. I will see Tammy many times today.

I follow a girl wearing a prosthetic leg into Dogwood. One of those high-tech ones with the big curve on the bottom. I am completely amazed. What kind of cojones do you have to have to get out on a trail like this with a prosthetic leg? I am impressed and humbled. Here I am with my knee tweaking a little and this girl is out there picking her way down root traps in a prosthetic. Damn. I will continue to see this girl all day – and each time she inspires me. I just really can’t express in words how much I admire her and her will and heart.

I’m disappointed when I come in on the first loop to see that my time is like 3:47. I really don’t know what I expected. Eventually I quit comparing that time to my 25K loop here at the Hogs Hunt. It’s a different and longer course. I forget about it after mulling it over in the 2nd loop and concentrate on my beef jerky instead.

Everything feels good, I change into my short-sleeved shirt and Jerry starts out with me on the 2nd loop. We get to the 1st aid station and a there is Sam, a girlfriend from Houston. She wants a turn keeping me company on trail. We make a plan on where she will meet us, then Jerry and I go on for a couple more miles to a place he can get to the park roads easily and get back to Dogwood.

My feet are starting to complain now. I’m pretty sure I’m getting a blister on one of my toes and both my feet have that tingling burning sensation off and on. Not even half way into 2nd loop, missy. This time when I approach the Dam Road I can see Tom Crull standing in the road and he’s waving his arms around and doing that goofy whoo hooo palms toward the sky thing and hollering “ Bacchus Babe in da Howwwwsssse”. I can’t help but laugh at him and this now becomes the chant every time I come into this aid station. It gives me a much-needed boost.

I add ibuprofen to my repertoire of snacks and move along. I’m starting to get tired, feet hurt, legs and especially quads starting to hurt. On the way back through Dam road, I hear Tia asking if anybody needs ice. I run over and hold my jog bra open and she dumps a cup of ice in it. As I leave, I hear Char laughing and saying ‘Tia, you get all the fun jobs.’

The jeep road has now become my kryptonite. It mocks me. Tempts me into jogging instead, and then produces a hill. Incline, hill; same thing at this point. To make things worse, as you look forward on the jeep road, after a series of rolling portions, waaaaaay far up there, you see a glimpse of blue. Yea! Its Park Road aid station and Sam will be waiting.

No, fool. That is a highway sign you see, but you won’t know that until you’re 20 yards from it and when you get to it, you’re gonna turn your happy ass left and trudge down an abandoned park road that’s all asphalt chunks and pot holes for another mile. This Dam road to Park road section is 4 miles long and feels like 8.

I meet another gentleman from the east along this stretch. He’s from Boston and you can tell it the minute he opens his mouth. We chat and he tells me that he’s struggling and frustrated about the time this is taking him. He also makes sure I know he completed an Ironman in his glory days and this is taking longer.

This same gentleman sees me after we both finish and wants to know if the young lady that picked me up at Park Road was my daughter. ~sigh~ well, she could be, I guess. ☺ He was impressed that we both moved on so quickly at the time.

I catch Sam at Park road. It’s really good to see her. A quick trip to the porta potty and now my nose decides to bleed. WTF? Stoopid. We haven’t had a chance to catch up in a while and we have lots to talk about. I feel better and can actually jog along at a good pace and before I know it, we’re back in Dogwood. That’s the longest stretch of trail – 4.22 miles and except for this one trip, feels like 10 miles. It’s like that section of I-20 between Dallas and Shreveport. That is the longest 3 hours in history. It’s a beautiful trail, windy and rooty, and along the lake, but that is exactly what makes it seem so long. It’s also 2-way traffic, so because you are seeing people coming out, you keep expecting the Turn around to appear at each corner. Ever hopeful, and continually disappointed, until you actually make that last turn and see the line of poles and the start/finish line. Yee haw!

I’ve seen several of my buddies back and forth and they are all doing well. Tired but moving good. I have seen Carol twice and she looks she just stepped off the cover of Runners World – fresh, smiling and moving well. Her hair still looks good.

Saw Gordon Montgomery (100 M) on my way back in. He is on his way out. He looks uncomfortable and seems to be limping, not a good sign. I wish him well and will see him twice more before I finish. I hear Sunday that he stopped at just over 66 miles, his longest trail distance. Impressive, since his 100K finish at Bandera 3+ weeks ago was his first attempt at that distance.

HAVE to get these shoes off. They just aren’t good for distances over a marathon. They’re pretty stiff and more suited to the rocks of Bandera and Imogene, which is what I bought them for.

I’ve got a blister on one toe, one on the ball of my right foot and a hot spot on the ball of the left foot. Duct tape on all of them. Gail fixes me a baggie with cocoa butter to take with me in case the tape comes off.

Here is where I make my biggest mistake of the day. When I came in, I grabbed 2 cups of Gatorade and drank them right away. Happened to be purple, which is normally ok with me. As I left, I took a chocolate Ensure with me. I felt like I need something different in my stomach. Had enough trail mix and Pringles and bananas and oranges and pbj and jerky. It has a lot of potassium and protein in it as well. Can’t hurt. So I drink my ensure and it lands on top of that purple Gatorade and now my stomach is NOT happy.

Funniest thing I heard all day was here as well. While I’m sitting and fixing blisters, I had dumped a handful of fritos in the chair between my legs. As I’m finishing my prep to walk out, tying shoes, etc, I’m still eating them. My friend Gale looks at all of us and says “ You gotta love a girl who’ll dig fritos out of her nasty, sweaty crotch and eat them.” She’s something else.

I walk the entire first section to the next aid station. I stop every so often now and stretch my back and legs, because everything hurts. Poor Jerry. He’s following along, and I feel sure the slow pace is frustrating to him. My thoughts are consumed by what to do about my stomach. I really think I should just put my finger down my throat and get rid of it.

Blegh. I hate to puke, so I forge on. Make it to the aid station and hit the park bathroom. The water is ice cold and I spend about 5 minutes splashing it on my face and wrists and back of my neck. Much much better.

We pass the guys putting out glow sticks. I hadn’t thought about how time consuming that is until I watched for a minute. Those little strings on those things get all tangled up and I’m pretty sure somebody had to sit and string them as well.

I’m vaguely excited by the fact that everything from this point forward is my longest distance! However, all sense of time and distance measurement is totally gone. Neither Jerry nor I wear a watch, not that it’s going to matter now.

I’m excited now, even though I‘m really tired. This is the last time I will do this section runs through my mind as the miles crawl by. I know I’m going to make it. Just past this point is all new territory for Jerry, so we make small talk and visit and then we’re at Dam road. I get my usual greeting and now Bill Rumbaugh has put in appearance. Really good to see everybody. This little loop goes by quickly but by the time we get back we are both dragging. I say my goodbyes! I wont see them again; they yell Yea and Get out! And we’re off up the Jeep road for the last time.

The pace or extreme lack of it, finally gets to Jerry and he runs up ahead and back a few times. Must have been the coke at Dam road? I finally had to tell him to wait for me up ahead. It’s kinda demoralizing to see somebody zooming back and forth like that when you’re trudging up that damn Jeep trail. They don’t know he’s 2 loops fresher and he’s a strong runner anyway. He’s doing well – by the time we finish he will have 21 miles on his feet. And slow or not, 21 miles is 21 miles.

It gets dark as we turn the corner and head down chunky asphalt hell. The moon is full and already up. Any hope I have of jogging fades with the light. Too tired.

Last aid station. I am exhausted physically, but doing well mentally. Everything below my waist hurts. In fact, my ribs and diaphragm hurt. My elbows hurt. I hold out and don’t turn on my light until about 3.5 miles out. The moon is flying high, almost over the treetops and it is breathtaking. The temp, which had climbed to mid 70’s during the day, is cooling rapidly and it’s humid again.

I have to remind myself to appreciate where I am and what I’m doing, and not get bogged down by my physical discomfort. I stop to look at the moon a couple of times and catch Jerry looking back at me. He’s very patient with my little lapses and no forward motion. But I get the hint and start walking again.

As we follow the lake you can hear frogs and random birds and every once in a while, a random splash. Brings to mind the “Beware of Alligators” sign at the front of the park. Occasionally we walk through cool areas – must be an open avenue to the lake and the breeze is pushing the cool across the trail. It feels like when you’re swimming and you pass through a cool spot.

My light is necessary now. We are in the really rooty section and it would totally suck to twist an ankle right now. Jerry sets a pretty good walking pace and drags me right along. About a half a mile out he takes off to let the gang know I’m coming.

Finally! I round a corner and can jog again. Actually, I can’t believe I can jog at all, and I feel sure that I look completely retarded, but I really don’t care. I’ll be damned if I’ll walk across that finish line. I can see lights and hear noise and I am completely alone on the trail. Just Me, la Luna and the glow sticks. I can’t see another runners’ light anywhere around me.

It’s weird running into an aid station like this in the dark. Nobody can see your face – they see your headlamp bouncing along. You can’t see well yourself because you’re vision is focused on that light and the end in front of you. You see people peripherally, and vaguely hear then clap or yell as you pass by. Seems almost slow-motion as you approach; I notice nobody is in Carol’s TA and have time to note this and wonder where they all are, then suddenly it all speeds up and you’re in the light.

The end! I can’t help myself - an Aaaiiiieeeeee and a big Whoo Hoo burst out of my mouth and I’m bouncing across the mat! 3 seconds and Jerry puts an ice cold PBR in my hand and somebody puts a medal in the other and I’m Done! I did it! Official time 12:43.

Someone wants to take my picture in front of the finish sign. Someone else wants my timing chip. I want this beer really really bad. I grab Jerry and give him a huge hug and thank you! Jennifer is waiting there as well.

Over and over during the day I remarked what a great day it was. I’ll say it again – it was awesome. I’m really tired and over the course of the evening while we wait for our friends, I’m already getting stiff. My body is letting me know in no uncertain terms that I’m going to suffer for the demands I made on it today.

That’s the best PBR I’ve ever had. We wait for our friends. Jennifer did well – she ran a 9:40 despite being sidelined twice with a bad blister on one of her middle toes. She confesses, shamefaced, that she had a hissy fit in one of the said stations.

Our friend Linda, another first time 50miler, comes in right after me. She appears fine but within 30 minutes of finishing becomes dizzy and almost faints. Jerry and another volunteer carry her to the med tent, where they eventually get her stable enough to get in the car with Deborah. She's fine the next day.

Sylvia and Nancy come in within 10 minutes of each other, Nancy having taken a bad fall on a root in the last section. She chastises me for waiting – silly girl ☺.

Carol is out on the course and the rest of the girls are scattered at aid stations waiting for her.

Jerry and I head for town and some real food, neither of us having eaten anything substantial all day. Once there, only Whataburger presents itself as an option. Bags in hand, we get in the hotel and spread our feast out on the bed. Like my beer, it’s the best hamburger I ever had. Followed by the best shower I’ve ever had.

Great day, great race. Fantastic volunteers and a well run race, as always with Joe’s events. I got blisters, but they weren’t horrible, no chafing to speak of, and no real stomach upset beyond my Ensure/Gatorade issue. The trail itself is built for comfort and speed and I highly recommend it. It’s a good place not only for 1st time ultra distances, but for PR’s as well.

Jerry was awesome – I‘m so glad he was there. Same for Samantha. They both provided me with some much-needed energy and inspiration when I really needed it. And Carol’s crew was incredible. There isn’t one better.

One week later, I’m over any soreness and have been since Thursday. I should note that every toenail on my left foot is purple, with the exception of the pinky. I will more than likely lose at least 3 of them on that foot and 2 on the right foot. I have a toenail on the right foot that continues to be tender. Who knew sheets could hurt a toenail?? I didn’t sleep well for several days, unusual for me.

On another note: Carol does not make the noon cut-off on Sunday. In fact, it takes her until 5:30 pm Sunday to finish her 100 miles. She, her crew and the park rangers are the only people left in the park when she does finish. But she went every step of the way under her own power. I’m very proud of her.

Nancy has already announced that she is quite happy to cross this particular item off her list and she won’t be re-visiting.

Me? Well, I’m deciding what the next one will be.

Life is Good. Dirt and the trail community makes it so much Better.

Really?

2009-02-10T20:48:00.002-06:00

Hold my beer and watchiss.

2009-02-09T11:03:00.003-06:00

As if Texas didn't have issues with a redneck reputation already, State Rep. Sid Miller (R-Stephenville) has filed a bill that would make it legal to hunt feral hogs – from a helicopter.

Fan-freaking-tastic! Now Bubba can get himself up over the tree tops and take pot shots at giant pigs. Keeps him from gettin' dirty or muddy and steppin' on the occasional water moccasin. No doubt the camouflage clothing industry will take a serious hit. Read more.

I can't wait till we start hearing the stories about rampaging feral hogs, because Bubba can't shoot for shit, especially from a whirley-bird and now Mr. 700lb Piggy is really pissed because you shot off his ear in the middle of dinner.

Really though; whattaya expect from a guy named Sid? And isn't Stephenville where they have a lot of UFO sightings?

Here's a better idea. Stay on the ground to hunt Porky and if you hurry, you can take advantage of the 'Buy one Hunt, Get one Free' Offer advertised here.

"You're gonna do what?!"

2009-02-06T08:56:00.002-06:00

"Why!??"

Something I'm hearing a lot lately. Off to Huntsville this weekend to the Rocky Raccoon Trail Ultra. I'm doing the 50M distance with 2 other friends. A first attempt at that distance for all of us.

A couple of the Bacchus Babes will be there supporting another friend doing her 1st 100M. There will be a full contingent of NTTR peeps there, Jerry is headed up from Austin to aid station hop for me and my friend Sam is coming up from Houston to do the same. Lots of friendly faces to help me along the way!

I think Gordon Montgomery(Austin) is doing his first 100M too, so Jerry will have several people to keep track of.

Joe Prusiatis is a fantastic race director and I'm sure it'll be a blast!

Happy Trails!

She's like a Chocolate eclaire!

2009-02-05T18:13:00.002-06:00

Off to drink $1 beers with a buncha other laid-off chicks, then on to the Granada to see Mingo Fishtrap, an Austin band that I follow around. There'll be some of the R&B Blues Cruise peeps there to hang with (I call 'em the boat people). Look for me front and center...

Life is Good.
Mingo kicks ass!
(so do $1 beers)

Dirt rocks.

2009-02-04T14:24:00.002-06:00

New stuff for my frig from a friend:

Of all the paths you take in life, make sure some of them are dirt.

Easy short run to loosen up my legs. Turned into a mini-scouting expedition for a full moon trail some time in the next couple of months. Shiggy-licious.

Wildlife spotted: 8 squirrels, 2 bums, 1 ratty-looking terrier who thought I was chasing him and 1 turtle.

Define Irony.

2009-02-04T11:21:00.002-06:00

Garland Greene: Define irony - a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash. ~Con Air~

In my case, consider this. I bought a motorcycle. For several reasons, one of which was to make my commute from BFE Lewisville to work more fun and cheaper. Turns out I-35 and Dallas traffic, especially in the morning, makes my sphincter pucker and that just didn't happen. I moved closer to Dallas and it got cold. blah yadda yadda

I rode my bike to work yesterday for the first time. To turn in my severance paperwork.

Which strikes me as ironic. And pretty damn humorous.

Life is good.
Two wheels makes it better.

No more Peaceable Kingdom...

2009-02-03T11:16:00.003-06:00

So I'm officially unemployed now, effective midnight last Friday Jan 30th.

I sorta wanted to make that decision myself come April-ish, but whatcha gonna do? It appears TRG needs to make some cut-backs although mum's the official word from them.

I made that choice pretty easy for them. I've kinda been thumbing my nose at a lot of rules in the last 6-8 months. Let's just say my severance package took a good hit from my negative vacation days. I guess I had me some adventures last year!

Nice here today. I think I'll get on my motorbike!

Dirt Floor Cracker

2009-02-03T10:09:00.009-06:00

Saw JJ Grey and MOFRO at The Granada this past Friday night. Good times all around - Kick ass show by both Mofro and the opening band Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights. Met some of my good blues buddies there and Jerry was up from Austin. This group of people always parks themselves front and center of the stage any time we can. I've actually been sweated on by Joe Bonamassa standing in the same place.

Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights

JJ Grey and MOFRO

4 Down, 96 more

2009-01-28T15:06:00.001-06:00

before I get my Fez...

22 degrees, Feels like 19.

2009-01-28T14:56:00.006-06:00

Something you don't see in Dallas every day... Ice Storm 09, they're calling it.

Ewwww.

2009-01-26T19:12:00.002-06:00

I started out to have a nice easy run at Buckner park last Wed. 21st. Great weather, 65ish and a little windy. I was having a really great time following the trails around on the inside loop, following a few that were less traveled and leaf covered, and I had these to myself.

I was following smaller and smaller arms off the original trail, dodging branches, having fun, when I ran across a dip, looked up and not 15 feet in front of me is some guy....uh.... abusing himself.

What the HELL? It's really hard to put on the brakes on leaves. I can't believe I didn't yell out "Shit!" or something supremely stupid like that. I'm sure I turned around in mid air. Zoomed back out the way I came, past all the trash and some red spray painted symbol on a tree that should have tipped me off in the first place.

Hauled ass up the hill to get out of there. Land speed record, here I come. Didn't even look back until I was at the street bordering the park. I swear I heard something behind me several times, but he was a pretty chunky square built guy, and I really doubt he could have caught me. I was in save myself mode. 'Sides, he would have been tired. He was putting lot of effort into his little rendezvous with Rosie.

Of course I didn't have the pepper spray that Jerry gave me with me.

I only managed another 1.5 miles, then quit. I kept expecting the guy to walk out of one of the trails on the perimeter of the woods.

As Cartman would say, "Okay, that does it. Screw you guys; I'm going home."

Hurts SO Good

2009-01-12T15:24:00.002-06:00

Back from Bandera, which ranks in my top ten coolest places EVER. Hill Country is so awesome.

Ran the 50K there in 8:17. Not blazing by ANY stretch of the imagination, but not bad for an old lady. Its a good hour faster than my best expectations. Note to self: Maybe you oughta do yourself a favor and train better.

I'm pretty sore today in the quads, but it'll pass. :)

It was great! The weather was good; sunny and chilly enough for me to keep my long sleeve on through the day but it was windy as hell off and on all day. It was getting pretty chilly by time the last in our group finished. I felt for the 100K people - think it got cold before they got done.

It was our groups 5th year to attend this race and we added several newbies to trail running. They all did a fantastic job - jerry finished the 25K in 3:02, Rick in 3:15, Evan in 3:20 - and nobody got hurt. Bonus!

I saw parts of the park that I have never seen before. And I re-visited some freaking huge hills. I somehow always forget year to year how big the Big Nasty really is... I'll post a few pics later.

Next up - Rocky Raccoon 50 Miler Feb 7th

Trailer park girls go 'round the outside...

2009-01-08T12:08:00.003-06:00

I wish one of them would come inside and clean up my apt.

Seriously, I'm a bigger slob than most of the bachelors I know. I really need to spend a weekend at home and clean up my crap.
Look at this...
R to L - chocolate covered gingerbread cookies, a dirty spatula (breakfast for dinner), 99% dark chocolate bar, bread, godiva dark chocolate covered cherries, butter (i was making toast!) limes,(bloody mary's last sunday when I was making room on the patio for the bike), Beam and coke, (needs no explanation) Abita beer koozie from Sat, champagne glass from BEFORE New Years, dirty Beam and coke glass, and my spare K&N air filter, which is dirty as hell, (it ain't 'spotta be black) hence the cleaning kit beside it.

~sigh~ So many other FUN things to do...

Hey - Hold my beer and watch this!

2009-01-07T12:20:00.004-06:00

More on the guy that got hung upside down by his pants on the ski lift in Vail here.

Beer biscuits for dinner

2009-01-07T09:21:00.002-06:00

Quickie run last night at the lake. After 6 and dark by the time I got out of the house. Less than 100 yards out the back of my complex, down the leaf pile - nice - across the old railroad right of way, over the trestle and I'm on the paved Lake trail.

The wind beat the crap out of me on the way across the dam section and got worse when I turned the corner. 50 degrees when I stepped out.

2ish miles around to meet my friend Ginny, who walked out the back of her complex, then we jogged over to Barbec's to eat. Greasy spoon all the way, complete with counter, stools and wood paneling. Famous for their Beer Biscuits. Their t-shirts claim "The only respectable way to enjoy beer in the morning." I personally don't believe that, but I'll bet the nursing home crowd that lives behind it thinks it's pretty funny- and I don't claim to be 'respectable', either.

I love places where they still serve open-faced roast beef sandwiches and you can get breakfast all day. Cash or checks only hahahaaa!

Dumped Ginny off and did my 2ish miles back 8 minutes faster. Had me a little wind push :) Temp had dropped to 43 by the time I got back home.

Despite the wind and it was a bit chilly, the view of downtown over the lake was way cool. Pretty moon and stars, no cloud cover yet. One of the few times I actually enjoy looking at Dallas is when I'm out after dark and I don't have to really see the rest of it.

Ghosts in the machine?

2009-01-07T09:08:00.002-06:00

One of the morning shows here, Lone Star 92.5, talks to a psychic on occasion.

She almost always says there are spirits in the studio with Bo, Jim and Randy. Today they are sporting an all-star cast.

Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Otis Redding and Janis Joplin all sitting in today.

She also said that the Cowboys would have a better year and Tony and Jessica wouldn't make it, but gives a rat's ass about either one of those tidbits.

Good pic and story there about a guy in Vail who fell through the lift seat and got hung upside down by his pants. That's quite a way to debut your junk to the masses on the slopes...

Things my Motorcycle has taught me...Part 1

2009-01-06T15:21:00.004-06:00

Four wheels move the body; two wheels move the soul.

Hideous, Mean, Saggy-Titted Cur

2009-01-06T10:49:00.002-06:00

My apologies and many thanks Lon, for sending me this... I couldn't help myself. I had to post it. And I swear, the next time you tell me not to drink my coffee while reading, I will most certainly heed that advice.

This from a good friend of mine, who shares my dive bar thing. He also rides motorcycles and shoots things, but that's another story. We recently spent an evening sitting in The Rambling Rose, drinking beer and laughing at the locals, who persisted in trying to coerce us into singing karaoke.

It's even funnier to me that this came to him via snail-mail from his mom in Michigan all the way back to Texas. Originally posted in Austin...

Read on.

Watch out for the brass...

2009-01-04T10:34:00.004-06:00

This past Friday I got to do something I havent done before... Jerry took me to an indoor shooting range in Pflugerville.

I grew up around guns. My dad is a hunter and we always had guns around. I've hunted myself on occasion, but my first time shooting an antelope made me decide I really didn't want to hunt seriously. If you want company out there and help field dressing, I'm your girl. You fellers can do the shooting part as long as I get to help eat it!

Anyway, I've only shot rifles and revolvers, never an automatic. I've actually never been in a gun range before. Quite a bit different from riding 2 miles out of town in Wyoming and shooting the crap out of targets and cans.

Jerry has a LOT of guns... as do my dad and my brother-in-law. I got to shoot 2 9mm Sigs; different sizes but same caliber. I'm told I did pretty well for a first timer. I tried training range (3 yards) then the next 2 beyond that, which I think were 7 and 15ish? I only hit the target on the farthest one maybe 5 out of 13 rounds.

Interesting way to spend an afternoon. And then I got to learn how to clean them and take them apart. Made better by Troy on in the background and a really good bottle of wine. That whole scenario sounds kinda oxy-moronish, doesn't it??

Stairs blow.

2008-12-30T15:25:00.002-06:00

And Fire Drills totally suck.

Although, I did get a little adrenaline rush when the stoopid alarms went off, because I didn't know about the drill. (The fire wardens usually get tipped off ahead of time)

So after I rousted 2 creative guys out of a conference room where they had pushed a stack of chairs pushed up against the door, 2 ladies out of the restroom and one scrawny brand management chick off the phone, I had to make my way down 13 stories, then back up with my wallet stuck down my ass crack.

I gotta say, I love watching the 'pretty people' try to walk down stairs in 4" heels.

Ah well. It's a beautiful day outside, I got a little stair workout in and we got M&M's!

When IS the StoopidBowl?

2008-12-30T14:47:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I actually LIKE my job. You know, like when we won the Patrón business, the client gave every one at the Agency a bottle of Patrón Anejo. Nice.

Today, on a much smaller scale of things I like here, I got to preview the 3 ads our Bridgestone client is considering running during the Superbowl. I'm curious if the powers that be will let the actual votes decide or if the old school fuddy-duddies will pull rank and air the one they like.

Last year's Bridgestone Superbowl ad can be seen here

My Mini-Me

2008-12-30T12:14:00.003-06:00

My 9 year old niece Mollie. MY child, according to my sister/her mom. Meaning obnoxious as hell and a real PITA.

I don't know what she's talking about. I was an angel as a child.

By Order of EPA...

2008-12-30T11:59:00.005-06:00

Saw this little gem on the door of the Masonville CO Mercantile.

Other than NO Public Restrooms, their other claim to fame is being the home of the National Senior Pro-Rodeo World Champion Bare Back Rider Jeff Somebody.

Strange little place. Run by strange people - both dressed up vintage 1800's Cowboy style. We were told we could walk through the 'museum' upstairs, but we had to take our shoes off first.

Blegh

2008-12-29T19:11:00.002-06:00

Back in flat, concreted, soccer mommie and scrawny SMU chicks with huge fake boobs infested Dallas.

I miss my mountains already. Uneventful, although ass-crack of dawn, drive to the Denver airport, uneventful flight home.

Good burger and a beer in the Hole in the Wall on the way home though. One of my favorite dives.

One noteable happening; as I got out of the rental car, my Om necklace broke and fell off. I'm a little creeped out about it. The last time I didn't wear it, I wrecked my truck and severed 2 tendons in my left wrist on a freakin' wine glass.

Bad ju ju. Hope I can find someone to fix it pretty soon.

Bobcat Ridge

2008-12-28T19:39:00.005-06:00

Got out on trail yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks. I really hate being sick. Mainly because I am a horrible patient (i.e., Pain in the Ass). Just call me PITA.

My Mom and Dad dropped off Jerry and I at the trailhead of Bobcat Ridge near Horsetooth resevior outside Fort Collins CO. It has a series of hiking and mt biking trails that loop off one another.

Very nice short spin on combo dirt and hard packed snow. That may be the first time I've run on snow, now that I think about it. I sure like running up here way better than running in Texas.

Lots of bear and coyote scat, but no fresh tracks and no animals.

Distance: 4 miles
Temp: 29 degrees. Sunny and less wind on the actual trail
Time: Granny slow. 59 minutes, although we were dinking around taking pics
Weight: Me 132, Jerry 203

You can lead a horticulture,

2008-12-23T15:05:00.001-06:00

but you can't make her think...

ROFL...

2008-12-22T11:46:00.002-06:00

I really don't know why this struck me as so funny... I chalked it up to being sick and drinking champagne after helping a friend move all day in sub-freezing temps (which is really bizarre for Texas...) but,

In some random conversation, a friend of a friend was relating a story about hooking up with a skanky girl. What he said was...

"Ooh! I went out with that girl once. It was like waving a corn dog in the Astrodome!"

Bwhahahaaaaaaa! I guess you did kinda have to be there, but it's still cracking me up.

"Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women make us drink beer."

2008-12-19T10:46:00.002-06:00

(Credit for that little gem goes to Al Bundy, Married with Children.)

Hats off or Bottoms Up, as the case may be, to Pabst Blue Ribbon, for getting a mention in this month's Maxim article "The Drinking Man's Guide to Beer" in the Canned Heat category. Notable company included Dale's Pale Ale, Boddington's, Tecate, Strohs, Schaefer, Guinness and Foster's (oil can).

What they had to say:
Pale lager * Milwaukee
Oh, PBR. Shall we count the ways? Hipster cachet. Peaty finish. The can. But why must you sting us with a chain-saw hangover?

~snort~ Hipster, my ass. But I digress...

ClearFork Favorite, (and our very own Wanker's) Yuengling making a splash in the Redheads category, being described as "Frothier than an Amish beard."

"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily". John 'Bluto' Blutarsky, Animal House

In-Utero Cannibalism?

2008-12-18T11:54:00.003-06:00

Glad I'm going to be a Manitard instead of a CO Springs-person (what DO they call peeps from Colorado Springs anyway?). They got some freaky deaky stuff going on over there.

"Surgeon Finds Fully-Formed Foot in Newborn's Brain". See the story here.

Don't miss the 'graphic image'.

The Most WTF Movie Moments from Summer 2008

2008-12-17T17:34:00.003-06:00

Found this while searching Maxim's site for something else.

See the list here.

It's medical. I SWEAR!

2008-12-17T13:05:00.004-06:00

Our cafeteria plan enrollments are due today. Here are just a few of the expenses that are not eligible for reimbursement:

This first one cracks me up.

Divorce: expenses of divorce when doctor or psychiatrist recommends divorce. (Did this guy have a note from the doc stating that it was essential to his health and well being that he get divorced? Or maybe it was for her health. If I don't divorce that bitch, I'm gonna have to kill her.)

Diaper service

Breast feeding supplies

Domestic help: payments to domestic help, companion, babysitter, chauffer, etc. who primarily render services of a non- medical nature (what exactly does "render services of a non- medical nature" mean? Especially if supplied by domestic help or a companion?) Mmm hmmm. Now all I can hear in my brain is 'brown chicken, brown cow'.

Herbal supplements

Illegal treatment or medication

Lanyards (Bet you this was a hasher)

Maternity clothes

Marriage counseling

Mattress

Clearly it doesnt benefit you in ANY way to a) get married, since neither your counseling nor your divorce will get paid for, and no matter how much sex you have, you won't be gettin' a new mattress out of the deal, b) get pregnant - you'll have to spring for the clothes on your own. But seriously, how much can plus size sweatshirts and leggings cost in Walmart?, c) Go head and bottle feed that rugrat, 'cuz none of your breast feeding supplies will get reimbursed anyway. 'Specially that pump thingy I hear in the ladies bathroom at work at 10am, noon and 3pm every day. What the hell is that thing? Save your boobies. Maybe they won't hang to your knees as fast, d) By all means, put some disposable pampers on that baby too. And drop 'em on the pavement when you change Jr in the parking lot, so we can all experience the joys of parenting, and IMHO, anybody that makes a living driving to people's houses and picking up poopy diapers and cleaning them has got some heuvos and deserve some serious bucks, and finally e) you're on your own for any of the 'herbal supplement' or 'Illegal treatments or medications' you're gonna need to endure all that crap.

Made me Laugh

2008-12-17T10:13:00.001-06:00

Saw this bumper sticker on the way to work today.

"Don't Steal. The government hates competition."

Backwards AND by 10 minutes...

2008-12-16T22:25:00.002-06:00

So I met this hasher in Austin this past weekend - FRGM (Full Ride Goat Master) I think?!? A speedy mofo.

After circle, and some Jaeger and some vile Stroh 80 thing that appeared, He announces "I'll run the first mile of the Austin marathon BACKWARDs and still qualify for Boston.

AND I'll beat brownie by 10 minutes"...

Bets, anyone?

2008-12-16T13:53:00.006-06:00

Spent some time in Austin this past weekend, including some of brownie's old turf. Mt biking in Walnut Creek - very cool and the BMX section is kick ass, followed by a beer here

Oddly enough, no Pabst Blue Ribbon to be had at Mickey's. Had the next best thing..

Attended the Austin Hash Christmas party on Saturday at the Flying Saucer, where I saw lots of familiar faces and met some new ones as well. No drama, almost regrettably, because I've been saving my "self-absorbed, whiny, narcissistic pain in the ass" line that I stole from K-9 for a certain someone.

Hangover hash on Sunday with more of the same. Finally got my PBR at Ginny's Little Longhorn! Fun time and Elvis rocks as RA. One notable happening: A new boot, who fancied herself quite the rebel, (at least it sounded that way from her rambling on about railroad tattoos and railroad names. She had both; a rr crossing tattoo on shoulder and was named Ogre), managed to down a good third of a bottle of Jaeger during one of her down-downs, then promptly puked it up on TAF and She Mussel's patio, along with at least 3 St Arnold Christmas Ales and what looked like an entire head of cauliflower.

Thank the governing deity that I'm not a sympathy puker, since she happened to be standing next to yours truly when she unloaded.

I think they're gonna name her 'Delicate Flower' or 'Buttercup' if she comes back...

Good Times!

Ya think?!?

2008-12-16T11:34:00.006-06:00

I love it that my truck tells me "ICE" in the temperature gauge.

It is a genuine cluster f*ck down here. Sleet and ice on the roads and since they insist on elevating every freaking road they can here, all the overpasses are frozen. And since these flatlander morons don't know how to drive anyway... well, you get the picture.

It does makes watching the news pretty entertaining, though.

Whoooohooooo!

2008-12-16T11:28:00.002-06:00

Just got my tickets for JJ Grey and Mofro at The Granada here in January.

Even though jt says JJ has a big ole head now, and I usually trust his judgment on music matters, (Wait. Did I just type that out LOUD?) I'm gonna go see 'em anyways.

Dear Mr. Teisher

2008-12-12T09:44:00.002-06:00

Mr. Jon Teisher
Manitou Chamber of Commerce

Thank you very much for the lovely and informative brochures of Manitou Springs and the surrounding area you forwarded me.

Your suggestions on residential areas will come in handy when the move is actually at hand. I am looking forward to exploring the entertainment options; they appear to be quite numerous for the area I am considering.

I understand there is a fair amount of outside activities to take advantage of as well.

Sincerely,

Lauren "I'm not from Dallas, I just live here" Kennedy

Pink Flamingos

2008-12-11T20:09:00.003-06:00

Showing tonight in one of the weirder places in Dallas, CentralTrak, is John Waters' 1972 cult classic Pink Flamingos...

It's been called "one of the most vile, stupid and repulsive films ever made" in a review by Daily Variety.

Dallas Observer says: Highly recommended for fans of cannibalism, feces and extreme eye makeup, or anyone who's ever wondered what it would take to become physically ill in a movie theater.

See the Trailer here.

I have to admit I'm intrigued in a train wreck kind of way; I vote we christen the Pig's new house with a Kimchi movie night and watch it.

Did you Know..

2008-12-11T20:07:00.001-06:00

That if you cough hard enough, you'll puke?

Oh yeah. And it's dead sexxxaay.

When I retire

2008-12-09T14:32:00.003-06:00

from my job pushing the coffee cart in Luby's, I'm gonna get me one of these babys.
AND I'm gonna motor down the street to my fav local bar at 8am in the morning and start drinking Irish coffee.

For lunch I'll have me a few PBR's before I roll on over to New Belgium Brewery for a couple o' free samples.

Don't hate.

Long Branch Bar, Fort Collins CO

Fill 'er up

2008-12-08T12:11:00.000-06:00

Even though it was beautiful outside Sunday afternoon, I somehow managed to NOT take advantage of that and spent the entire afternoon inside at the 6th Annual Bacchus Babes White Elephant Christmas party.

I had to drive all the way across the Jethroplex to get there too. At least there was bubbly and good food with a large contingent of the old adventure racing club. I only see some of those people once a year, usually at this event.

I did get to see the Cowboys take an arse whippin' from the Steelers. Heh heh heeeeeh.

I am now the proud (?) owner of a Fill er Up Liquor Decanter that looks like an old school gas pump, complete with hose and nozzle for dispensing.

I was torn between this and the "Poo" log, which had entries for time, description, etc. and included poo trivia. Tough decision.

Pavement sucks

2008-12-08T12:05:00.000-06:00

Easy 2.5 mile spin on a combo road and golf course/railroad right-of-way Sunday to get the kinks out. Kinda sore, especially my feet.

Followed by breakfast and mimosas. Mmmmmmmm.

Happy trail

2008-12-08T11:45:00.000-06:00

Good 10.5 miles at the Cedar Ridge preserve Saturday in around 2.5 hours with Jerry. Great trail - looks a lot like Bandera. Good hills, cedar trees and lotso rocks. Only missing bigger hills and sotol. Pretty chilly starting out - 33 degrees. Warmed up to a balmy 50.

Had Tom Emory as a running buddy as well and saw BeckBee and Mike in between loops for a minute.

Stopped in at the taco stand in the farmers market in downtown Dallas for guisado tacos after. Good stuff!